So, if you live near me, or have spoken to me on the phone recently...you know I am a wreck. Parenthood is so hard. I wonder if you are ever suppose to feel like you are doing it right. I know that there are many dark forces out there (can you tell I watch too much Star Wars?) that do not want me to feel successful as a mother. Sadly enough, they won last week. This week will be better, it has to be! I am working on my complaining...that may take some time. Our Bishop talked last week about "parenting through sorrow." Though I was out in the hallway with my fussy baby for 80% of his talk, I felt the spirit of what he was saying when I did get a chance to listen. Parenting sucks a lot of the time. It is a 24-7 job. No weekends off, no holidays, no lunch breaks...nothing. When they are asleep and I am catching up on my DVR (kudos to whoever invented that), I still don't get a break. That is when I really worry...is someone going to take the kids while I sleep, is Carsen going to be mean to Ky on the bus again, how am I going to pay for those books from the book fair that Ky wants? See, it never stops... That is when I wipe my tears, and remember the advice from all the great mothers I have in my life...you will get through it...you are stronger than you know. So, this week I am going to try (really hard) to not complain. I will use good old fashion smile therapy (thank you Ally McBeal). I will remember the good times, and know that they ALWAYS outweigh the bad ones. I will think of how sweet it is to hear Ky say I am the best mom he ever had. I will smile when I see Marley kicking her feet happily as I walk into the room. I will remember that it is my job to keep them happy and safe...and that is just what they are.
So here are some happy times to look at :)
Ky with his pants on backwards...still not sure how that got past me!
Ky's homework, a collage...he cut the pics out & taped them all himself!
Marley with a full belly
6 comments:
Can I just tell you... 1) you really are stronger then you think. You are focused on the end prize, and that is what is important, (that is me watching too much Amazing Race!), and 2) you are stronger then you think! Because you are the mom, you take little fussieness, and whining and times it by 100! Just remember that we are all here for you. We all love you, and your heavenly father knows you, and knows your limits. I love you to pieces, and will do whatever you need! Maybe Heavenly Father wants you to learn how to ask for help. Hmmm? Well, even though Marls cries when I feed her sitting down, I can still take her whenever you want! Promise!
Oh other people feel this way too?!?!? Okay, here is my advice, you AREN'T getting any breaks right now with Matt being gone, no wonder you feel that way! My favorite parenting book right now is "Raising Your Spirited Child". Even if by some chance of luck you don't have spirited children (and who is that lucky?) it is a GREAT book to learn how we all draw energy and how to fill up our energy banks as well as our childrens' to have a happier home. Give it a try, and if you are an extravert like me - GET OUT as fast as you can for dinner with a friend, a movie, anything! It will help you to fill up your energy bank, and give you the much needed break you deserve, no matter how brief it may be.
Hey Ali! I hope our time with you will help start your week off right. Mikey loved his time with LaLa, Da (Ky), Ma-ah (Marley) and MaMa (Mazie). We hope to see you again soon. Hang in there... talk to you soon. Love, Joni
Alison, beleive in what you're doing and who you are! This song helps me jump out of my blue days (or weeks) as there are many being a mommy, but know you are doing something magical for your babies. Your beautiful and crazy cool! Miss ya!
I know you wonder
If you'll ever have a day
when the kids stay calm, the laundry's done
and the dishes are put away
And sometimes you feel like
your days are spent and gone
and the question running through your mind is
what have I gotten done?
and when you finally have a moment to slow down
at the end of your day, I know He would say....
Believe in what you're doing
Believe in who you are
And hold tight to the truth
that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you're becoming
Believe in who you are
It may seem simple
all the little things you do
but the lives you touch, matter so much
and theres no one else like you
And He needs you to stand tall and faithful
To be all you can be
Oh if you could see what He sees
You'd Beleive....
In what you're doing
You'd beleive in who you are
So hold tight to the truth
that you're a daughter of God
Beleive in who you're becoming
Beleive in who you are
When its hard to believe in yourself
And you feel like you're beginning to doubt
Remember....He believes
(Words & Music by Hilary Weeks)
Alison, I almost started tearing up reading your post. You are so genuine about how hard parenting is. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that parenting is stinkin' hard sometimes! I love that you are real about it...sometimes I tend to sugar coat everything and pretend everything is fine and dandy when it's not. You are awesome Alison...and an awesome mom!...and you already know I'm an Alison wannabe:) hehe
And I thought the Bishop was only talking to me...what is it about the way he says what he does that always seems to really hit home with me (and I guess with others too)? I know, he's our steward and all that, but he's really good at it.
I'm sorry you are a wreck lately. Parenthood IS hard. It's hard with a husband home all the time helping constantly, and I can't even imagine doing it alone (I don't want to ever have to). When I am feeling overwhelmed (pretty much all the time), I try to remember that even giving a little bit of myself in whatever small way, if it is all I can do at that moment, it is enough. We have a motto in our family that is "Be happy for what you get." This first applied to our first cat who loved us very much but would only tolerate being held or cuddled for a few minutes and then she would hiss and run away. We would always say, "Be happy for what you get." It continues to apply in almost all situations...if you get a great hug and smile, a sweet help from an older sister, a comment like Ky's..."Be happy for what you get." It's in the expectations for more that we are many times let down. It works for us!
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